Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Letter to the People Who Stole My House

Okay, so it wasn't really my house.  But considering I've spent the last three months envisioning my life in it, telling the children stories about their new bedrooms, fantasizing about the kitchen and (more often) the soaking tub-- yes, it was sort of my house.  And I know my husband told me not to get my hopes up.  And my Real Estate Agent told me not to get my hopes up.  But I got my hopes up.  And now you've dashed them to the ground.  

I get it.  You have more money than I and can therefore afford to pay cash for it.  And I get it, the banks prefer cash to a mortgage payment.  I completely understand that.  But did you really NEED that house as much as I did?  Did you even want it as badly as I did?  No?  I didn't think so.  Or maybe you do.  

Maybe you, too, have four children and have been struggling to find a home to fit them all that falls within a reasonable price point.  No, I have no problem with my kids sharing a room-- but let's be honest here, Mason, as the only boy surrounded by three sisters, NEEDS his own room. And it's just not fair to give Mason his own room if Kayton, older by 14 months, doesn't get her own room-- so that (with another room for the little girls and a guest room so that our extended family will start spending the night again instead of opting to drive the extra hour to stay with one of my brothers who have fewer/ no children and, therefore, an extra bedroom) means we need at least five bedrooms.  

But maybe you do have childless family members who want their privacy.  And maybe you too are desperate to have that space for them so you don't feel ostracized when they all go elsewhere for the night while you lie in bed crying, taking it personally, that just because your last single brother went and got a fiancee who now visits with him he's no longer happy sleeping on the couch.  And so maybe you do have the need for those five bedrooms.  BUT, do you have in-laws who want to move in with you as well?   HA!  I thought not!  

Do you know how hard it is to find a home with a separate guest house for your in-laws?  Yes, I know there are a lot of houses on the market that have in-law suites.  I've looked at every single one of them.  But do you know what they all have in common?  An attached in-law suite.  
Now, I love my in-laws.  They are wonderful people and there have been times that I've thought of leaving my husband but stayed simply for his parents.  There have also been times my in-laws have begged me not to leave their son simply so they can keep me as a daughter-in-law (well, I'm assuming here)...   but I do not want to share a bedroom wall with them.  It's bad enough when your son walks into your bedroom in the morning and asks "what was that "uh-uh" noise I just heard?"  It's worse if your mother-in-law hears that and doesn't say anything, just subtlety asks you the next morning if you're sure your husband's "surgery" worked since you definitely don't want anymore children... right?  

And I, for one, don't want my mother-in-law listening to me yell at her son.  Oh, she's a smart woman and would probably not say anything about it--plus, she's married to his father so has a pretty darn good idea of what I have to put up with on a daily basis-- but if we ever get into one of those "just because your parents did that doesn't mean it was the right way to do it" fights (oh, come on now, every married person with children has said that at least once!), I don't need them hearing.  

But hey, maybe you are in the same boat.  Maybe you too have four (or more) children, in-laws that want to move in with you, and are desperate to have just a little more legroom in your living room; that one extra bathroom; that cute little cubby hole in which you told your son he could hide his important "boy stuff" from his sisters. But I don't think you are.  

So, tell me, did you really need to buy the ONE house in this town that is affordable, has at least five bedrooms, AND has a separate guest house for the in-laws to move into?  I thought not.  And yet you did.  

Now, I'm not going to say the house was perfect.  It was uncomfortably close to the McDonalds, but this fact seemed to be only negative for me.  My husband and eldest child seemed thrilled with the fact that they could walk to their fast food addiction.  And it didn't have a basement, which somewhat bothered my husband, since he likes his man-space-- but that thrilled me, since I saw it as a passive-aggressive means to keeping him in the room with me at all times.  
And sure, it's going to require a small mortgage payment in order to put up enough trees to keep the big "M" from shining in your daughter's (assuming you have one-ha!) bedroom window.  But maybe you like that view.  

And now you get to enjoy it.  So, I hope you're happy.  

If you see my car driving past your house-- it's just me saying goodbye to my house.  So don't call the police.  I promise as soon as I find a new-perfect house, I'll stop stalking yours.  
But if you move in and discover that all of a sudden a surplus of McD's trash is being thrown over the fence into your backyard-- well, that's not me.  I would never do something like that-- even to someone that stole my house.  

But if that inspires you to put the house back up for sale... well, let my agent know!  

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